To payoff his second girlfriend's debt, hitman Melvin Smiley undertakes a kidnapping job with his usual associates. In a world of prospective Jewish in-laws and late movie fees, the hitman falls in love with the victim and must settle the score with those out to double-cross him.

Johnny Hooker, a small time grifter, unknowingly steals from Doyle Lonnegan, a big time crime boss, when he pulls a standard street con. Lonnegan demands satisfaction for the insult. After his partner, Luther, is killed, Hooker flees, and seeks the help of Henry Gondorff, one of Luther's contacts, who is a master of the long con. Hooker wants to use Gondorff's expertise to take Lonnegan for an enormous sum of money to even the score, since he admits he "doesn't know enough about killing to kill him." They devise a complicated scheme and amass a talented group of other con artists who want their share of the reparations. The stakes are high in this game, and our heroes must not only deal with Lonnegan's murderous tendencies, but also other side players who want a piece of the action. To win, Hooker and Gondorff will need all their skills...and a fair amount of confidence.

The extravagant cop Michael Dooley needs some help to fight a drug dealer who has tried to kill him. A "friend" gives him a dog named Jerry Lee, who has been trained to smell drugs. With his help, Dooley sets out to put his enemy behind the bars, but Jerry Lee has a personality of his own and works only when he wants to. On the other hand, the dog is quite good at destroying Dooley's car, house and sex-life...

Two volunteer firemen rescue a gold prospector from suicide. However, once they discover that the police mistakenly want them for murder, they travel with the prospector to Alaska to help chase his girl. Once they arrive, the men discover that most of the town wants the prospector dead. It's up to Abbot and Costello to keep him alive, or else San Francisco is ready to hang them for the murder.